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The Threefinger Opera

by Jeff Elbel + Ping

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Purchase of this download includes bonus track "Do it Again."
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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Pressed on black vinyl with color sleeve, poly-lined inner sleeve, and 4-page color insert. Orders include instant download of The Threefinger Opera with bonus track.

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    The Threefinger Opera CD includes all 13 album tracks plus the bonus track "Do It Again." The package includes a 6-panel gatefold booklet with color photos and song illustrations by Chris Taylor.

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Threefinger Opera via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • The Threefinger Opera: album cover design, Mr. Ping design. Receive one of each. 3 inch by 3 inch vinyl stickers.
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      $5 USD or more 

     

  • Button/Pin/Patch

    3 inch by 3 inch embroidered patch with heat-seal backing. The Threefinger Opera's "Mr. Ping" design created by Christopher Taylor of Love Coma. Receive one patch.
    ships out within 2 days

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  • Button/Pin/Patch

    3 inch by 3 inch embroidered patch with heat-seal backing. The Threefinger Opera cover image design. Receive one patch.
    ships out within 2 days

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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 10 Jeff Elbel + Ping releases available on Bandcamp and save 65%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Threefinger Opera, No Outlet, Gallery, The Eleventh Hour Storybook, Engine of Destruction (live 2003), Loyal to You, The Eleventh Hour Songbook (instrumental sketch), Live at the Crooked Bar (plus), and 2 more. , and , .

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1.
Introduction 00:21
This is an original Ping long-playing record, And I am your narrator. I am now going to present the true story of The Threefinger Opera. You can follow along with me in your liner notes. You will know it’s time for the next song when the drummer counts off, like this: [One, two, three, four!] Let’s get started.
2.
Do you remember the Kool-Aid Man Titan of my childhood days Build a wall in his path and he would run right through it – oh, yeah! And he never even spilled a drop Don’t mind the masonry in your drink But that cool concoction of red dye five was oh, so sweet As the commercial faded into the cartoon, I smiled to myself and said I'm gonna be like that now, baby, nothing's gonna slow me down The obstacles in my way will fall at the push of my two strong hands I'm gonna be like that now, baby, nothing's gonna slow me down And the world's gonna know that I'm ready to go The Six Million Dollar Man Made me an astronaut wannabe He could outrun your car Crush a steel bar And set hapless captives free In bionic flannel at the end of the day, I smiled as I yawned and said I'm gonna be like that now, baby, no one’s gonna take me down The villains who cross my path will fall at the power in my two strong hands I'm gonna be like that now, baby, no one’s gonna take me down And the world's gonna know that I'm ready to go Remember the Beatles, man Four kids from a beat-up town With a big idea ‘bout all you need To make the world go ‘round As the Hey Jude fade out played in my ears, I smiled to myself and said I'm gonna be like that now, baby, nothing’s gonna bring me down People will join and sing the songs that I play with my two strong hands I'm gonna be like that now, baby, nothing’s gonna bring me down And the world's gonna know that I'm ready to go
3.
The road will rise to meet me Clouds will sail away Nothing's gonna bring me down Springtime every day That happy, fat old robin is singing just for me That’s right (right!), anything’s possible I'm unstoppable Oceans part before me Crowds will step aside A spring in the step A light in the eyes Chest that swells with pride The future is unwritten, and the door is open wide That’s right (right!), anything’s possible I'm unstoppable No wish to seem ungracious I’m thankful for my lot Every day I’m counting The blessings that I've got For blessed and truly capable Are things I truly am I’m sowing inspiration Striking up the band Ready to encourage Every Joe and Jan Fondly offer favor Happy helping hand Oh, thank you very much, my friend, I'm doing mighty fine That's right (right!), anything’s possible I'm unstoppable Life is good, it’s good to be alive It’s good to be unstoppable me I’ve got to be unstoppable me And I can’t stop! Why would I want to stop being unstoppable me? I’m free to be unstoppable me I’ll always be unstoppable me I’m go- … Bu- … … Why did you stop?
4.
I didn’t see it coming It caught me unaware I never saw the danger lurking 'round back there But it waited for me ‘Til I was all alone It slithered up behind me And crept into my bones Under cover of the darkness Merciless and bold I felt a touch of evil chill my very soul From way beyond the black A wicked kiss I can’t forget It lit me up like Christmas day And rattled through my head I can still remember the way it was before It haunts me like sweet music That I can’t hear anymore It struck like lightning It brought me low Picked me up by my lapels And told me where to go It struck like lightning It knocked me down, down, down It pushed me from the pinnacle And watched me hit the ground It struck like lightning The sage upon the mountain The fool upon the hill They have no words to offer me I guess they never will I used to sleep so peacefully Dreaming 'bout the band Now I'm wired at 3AM, staring at my hand Don’t ignore the feeling Don’t let it pass you by Don’t take it for granted It’ll vanish before your eye It struck like lightning It told me no Yesterday, “Look, Ma, no hands” Today, “Look out below” It struck like lightning It knocked me down, down, down The breeze was sweet upon my cheek And then I hit the ground It struck like lightning Don’t ignore the feeling Don’t let it pass you by Don’t take it for granted It’ll vanish before your eye I can still remember the way it was before It haunts me like sweet music That I can’t play anymore It struck like lightning It changed my life The horse’s hair surrendered And I caught the falling knife It struck like lightning Gone much too fast, fast, fast Stolen in a moment Was it all too good to last? It struck like lightning
5.
You can put me in ice, you can bury me down You can turn up the heat with a sizzling sound You can stretch my neck ‘til I’m tall as a tree But don’t let Mr. Madarakkis put the screws to me You can find where it hurts, and then give it a twist You can sell me a smile, and deliver a fist Here’s my guitar, you can have it for free But don’t let Mr. Madarakkis put the screws to me I can be the big man I can stand the pain I will take the medicine Like fire in my veins But it’s too close to the jugular It’s too much of my life And he seems a bit too willing To put me to the knife You can stripe my back and pour salt in the wound You can burn my record if you don’t like the tune You can slander my name, what good could it be But don’t let Mr. Madarakkis put the screws to me I have seen such devilry Splinter masonry and stone I can almost smell the powder As it drills into my bones If what I’ve lost is gone for good It’s long gone either way But I think about old Django Who found another way Don’t let Mr. Madarakkis put the screws to me Don’t let Mr. Madarakkis get his hooks in me Don’t let Mr. Madarakkis point that knife at me Don’t let Mr. Madarakkis …
6.
I loved you, my darlin’ and trusted you so We’d build fine things and dance on strings Oh my, the places we’d go But now it’s just memory I stew and I stare You’ll tremble and try in a poor pantomime But the feeling just isn’t there Oh-ho, you had to ramble You left with the one That took you so far out of line Kate said it’s too bad The fix is severe It’s only a matter of time But what once was a forgone conclusion Now shows cracks of light through the side You’ve heard it before And I’ll tell you it’s true You should always get a second opinion Let ‘er run once she’s started And go the next mile You may have to play with the hand you’ve been dealt But a new card could be worth your while What’s good for the gander Ain’t fit for the goose Some say that it’s so, while others say no But it’s better that you get to choose Oh, you had to ramble You left with the one That took you so far off the track Karen speaks wisdom My trust is undone But darling, I still want you back What once was a forgone conclusion …
7.
Lazy Louie 03:28
Five men standing on southpaw hill Two won’t work, but the other three will One’s half bent and the other won’t stand He don’t wanna play in a rock and roll band Starin’ him down but he just won’t go He don’t give a hang that he’s holdin’ up the show Buy him a Cadillac twenty feet long He still won’t dance for the Chuck Berry song What am I to do with Lazy Louie? Hangin’ ‘round all day with nothing doing Louie’s like a new man, a useless one at that I can hope someday I’ll get the old one back You know he used to be so helpful – he put an end to that! Panic at the church house, what happened to the steeple? Opened up the door and they let out all the people Louie’s in the back row, sleeping in the pew He ain’t gonna do what the preacher said to do What am I to do with Lazy Louie? Hangin’ ‘round all day with nothing doing Louie’s turned a new page, an empty one at that I can hope someday he’ll turn the old one back You know he used to be so helpful – he put an end to that! Can’t turn the key and my jacket’s unzipped I want the bag open, but it just won’t rip I scream and I cuss, and I pout and frown While one little fella keeps letting me down What am I to do with Lazy Louie? Hangin’ ‘round all day with nothing doing Ready for his close-up, but he doesn’t want to act I can hope and pray I’ll get the old Lou back You know he used to be so helpful – he put an end to that!
8.
Moan 03:13
Moan if you think it makes you better Moan but no matter what you do Long way off, without a doubt Just gonna have to wait it out and see it through Moan if it gets you through the morning Moan if it carries you to noon But don’t moan during happy hour No one wants to see your flower’s a wilted bloom It’s hard to make the best of it “At least you got a song from it” Be happy What can you do It’s life and ‘tis the season No peace in chasing reason This is happening to you Moan when the riddler doesn’t need you Moan when another gig falls through Bone by bone, rebuild the tower The wish of your returning power is coming true It’s hard to make the best of it “At least you got a song from it” Be happy What can you do It’s life and ‘tis the season No peace in chasing reason This is happening to you Moan ‘cause it’s all coming apart now Moan but a smile is better glue Long way off, without a doubt Just gonna have to wait it out And see it through
9.
I’ll never be a hip-hop star My flow's not legendary But I've got rhymes to fill a book – a rhyming dictionary My skill with words is testament to literacy and wit But my vocabulary’s stretched and now the rhymes don't fit Can’t walk on water in these brimstone shoes Can’t be filled with laughter when I’m singing the blues Can’t roller-skate in a buffalo herd Can’t understand why love’s a dirty word, now You can mock and laugh at me And have your fill of jeers I’ll humbly take your tutelage Believe me, I'm all ears If you choose to acquiesce and lend your aid to me I need a rhyme for cervical radiculopathy Can’t catch the ball with my hands in my pockets Can’t shoot the moon if I don’t build the rocket Can’t find a clue without a magnifying glass Can’t do a dance if I’m sitting on my lawn chair My elocution’s eloquent My prose is always pleasant My discourse is distinguished and ideas incandescent I’ll never stoop to sing about your chronic halitosis I’ll need some different words to rhyme “foraminal stenosis” Can’t feed the hawk if I want to keep the dove Can’t catch a bullet in a baseball glove Can’t clap in time on the one and the three Can’t get through the door without the master key My situation’s out of sorts and getting kind of scary But I’ve got rhymes to overflow a rhyming dictionary My language rarely lacks, and my lyrics are a hit But my vocabulary’s stretched and now the rhymes don’t fit Flammable ketosis Garanimal in focus Tyrannical ten locusts Phenomenal neurosis Grammatical …
10.
Waiting Room 03:19
Never liked the hospital Never liked the clinic Even in my worst malaise You wouldn’t find me in it Funny how things turn around My, how things have changed Now I’m in the doctor’s queue Nearly every day The waiting room is stuck on hold The corner is my second home Time ticks by as I grow old Check my phone, check my pulse The waiting room is stuck on hold Monday I will take my chair I’ll take the same on Tuesday Wednesday, Thursday find me there Making plans for Friday The waiting room is stuck on hold The corner is my second home Time ticks by as I grow old Check my phone, check my pulse The waiting room is stuck on hold Nurses are like family Physicians are my friends Reading old Time magazines ‘Til they call me in
11.
If my heart is still or beating, it’s in your hands, in your hands If I feel lost and defeated, it’s in your hands, in your hands If I come to pain or pleasure, it’s in your hands, in your hands If I find and lose a treasure, it’s in your hands, in your hands If it’s rain or merely sunshine, it’s in your hands, in your hands If I should see or go blind, it’s in your hands, in your hands Is it holy water turned to cheap wine? It’s in your hands, in your hands Is it ministry or white-collar crime? It’s in your hands, in your hands Have mercy on me Have mercy on me, please Is it love and war, or peace and hate? It’s in your hands, in your hands Divide and conquer or negotiate, it’s in your hands, in your hands Is it all for one and none for all? It’s in your hands, in your hands A trumpet blast or a siren’s call? It’s in your hands, in your hands Have mercy on me Have mercy on me, please Is it Heaven or hell? Is it down the drain or up the well? Is it living in grace, dying in flesh? What the future holds, we can only guess Is it redemption or damnation? I can’t demand, it’s in your hands Is it deprivation or sensation? Not my plan, it’s in your hands Is it victory or defeat? I understand, it’s in your hands Is it rendered whole or incomplete? Since the world began, it’s in your hands In your hands, in your hands
12.
Morning is coming, slowly but surely Nighttime ticks by in its maddening way A headful of seconds is a whole lot of seconds But morning is coming It happens each day All is in shadow, as dark as it gets But there’s no denying the light of the sun It’s rough in the meantime The long in-between time You’ll see much better when morning has come This lovely old wreck ain't got what it used to She’s emptied my pockets – she’ll do it again 50-odd years is a whole lot of years I’d no sooner leave her than my dearest friend A rickety racket from under the hood A hole in the floorboard that grows by the mile A wrench and a rag and she’s humming back at it Slowly but surely Arriving in style Healing is coming, slowly but surely Creeping along at a fraction each day An armful of inches is a whole lot of inches Thank God for three fingers I’m still in the fray
13.
Outroduction 00:14
And that concludes The Threefinger Opera. I hope you enjoyed the story. Now that you've heard the songs, You can sing along as you listen – again and again. Until next time, Goodbye!

about

With The Threefinger Opera (abbreviated as 3FO), Chicago-area progressive roots-pop collective Jeff Elbel + Ping parlay penchants for storytelling and rock ‘n’ roll into an engaging album-length tale drawn from real life. 3FO travels a path toward perspective and peace under pressure. Despite the circumstances that inspired the set, 3FO embraces Ping’s charter with thrilling songs that are relatable, witty, and fun for all ages.

The album reveals itself as a virtual jukebox, demonstrating Ping’s affinity for wide-ranging musical styles. The sonic house party hosts a plethora of musical guests, including friends from the Fixx, Calexico, PLS PLS, the Claudettes, Resurrection Band, the 77s, the Violet Burning, the Choir, and more.

credits

released May 5, 2022

John Blum: drums
John Bretzlaff: guitar
Mike Choby: keyboards
Jeff Elbel: kitchen sink
Maron Gaffron: vocal
Stacey Krejci: bass
Tom Sharpe: percussion

featuring a cavalcade of dazzling guest stars:

the Beatleleles
Sydney Bortscheller
Bill Bowman
the Brunner Brothers
Mitchell Connell (Love Coma)
Cy Curnin (the Fixx)
Derri Daugherty (the Choir)
Dan Dixon (PLS PLS, Dropsonic)
Melody & Megan Elbel
Matt Gadeken
Ginger Gonzalez
Abby Haworth
Beki Hemingway
Johnny Iguana (the Claudettes)
Glenn Kaiser (GKB, Resurrection Band)
Randy Kerkman
Greg Lawless (Adam Again)
Phil Madeira (Red Dirt Boys, Mercyland)
Joseph Mancuso (North)
Brien K. Meehan
Andrew Oliver
John Mark Painter (Fleming & John, Perfect Foil)
Michael Pritzl (the Violet Burning)
Michael Roe (the Seventy-Sevens)
Mags Roethler
David Santos (Astropark, the Startles)
Tom Sharpe (Mannheim Steamroller, solo)
Chris Taylor (solo, Love Coma)
John J. Thompson (the Wayside)
Michelle Thompson (the Wayside)
Ben Waligoske
Martin Wenk (Calexico, Depedro)

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Jeff Elbel + Ping Wheaton, Illinois

Thanks for visiting! We're proud to be your source for roots rock and roll storytelling with wit and heart. Remember our motto: "No band could love you half as much as Ping."

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