Get all 10 Jeff Elbel + Ping releases available on Bandcamp and save 65%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Threefinger Opera, No Outlet, Gallery, The Eleventh Hour Storybook, Engine of Destruction (live 2003), Loyal to You, The Eleventh Hour Songbook (instrumental sketch), Live at the Crooked Bar (plus), and 2 more.
1. |
Introduction
00:21
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This is an original Ping long-playing record,
And I am your narrator.
I am now going to present the true story of The Threefinger Opera.
You can follow along with me in your liner notes.
You will know it’s time for the next song when the drummer counts off, like this:
[One, two, three, four!]
Let’s get started.
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2. |
I'm Gonna Be Like That
03:47
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Do you remember the Kool-Aid Man
Titan of my childhood days
Build a wall in his path and he would run right through it – oh, yeah!
And he never even spilled a drop
Don’t mind the masonry in your drink
But that cool concoction of red dye five was oh, so sweet
As the commercial faded into the cartoon, I smiled to myself and said
I'm gonna be like that now, baby, nothing's gonna slow me down
The obstacles in my way will fall at the push of my two strong hands
I'm gonna be like that now, baby, nothing's gonna slow me down
And the world's gonna know that I'm ready to go
The Six Million Dollar Man
Made me an astronaut wannabe
He could outrun your car
Crush a steel bar
And set hapless captives free
In bionic flannel at the end of the day, I smiled as I yawned and said
I'm gonna be like that now, baby, no one’s gonna take me down
The villains who cross my path will fall at the power in my two strong hands
I'm gonna be like that now, baby, no one’s gonna take me down
And the world's gonna know that I'm ready to go
Remember the Beatles, man
Four kids from a beat-up town
With a big idea ‘bout all you need
To make the world go ‘round
As the Hey Jude fade out played in my ears, I smiled to myself and said
I'm gonna be like that now, baby, nothing’s gonna bring me down
People will join and sing the songs that I play with my two strong hands
I'm gonna be like that now, baby, nothing’s gonna bring me down
And the world's gonna know that I'm ready to go
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3. |
Unstoppable Me
02:50
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The road will rise to meet me
Clouds will sail away
Nothing's gonna bring me down
Springtime every day
That happy, fat old robin is singing just for me
That’s right (right!), anything’s possible
I'm unstoppable
Oceans part before me
Crowds will step aside
A spring in the step
A light in the eyes
Chest that swells with pride
The future is unwritten, and the door is open wide
That’s right (right!), anything’s possible
I'm unstoppable
No wish to seem ungracious
I’m thankful for my lot
Every day I’m counting
The blessings that I've got
For blessed and truly capable
Are things I truly am
I’m sowing inspiration
Striking up the band
Ready to encourage
Every Joe and Jan
Fondly offer favor
Happy helping hand
Oh, thank you very much, my friend, I'm doing mighty fine
That's right (right!), anything’s possible
I'm unstoppable
Life is good, it’s good to be alive
It’s good to be unstoppable me
I’ve got to be unstoppable me
And I can’t stop! Why would I want to stop being unstoppable me?
I’m free to be unstoppable me
I’ll always be unstoppable me
I’m go- …
Bu- …
… Why did you stop?
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4. |
Like Lightning
03:41
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I didn’t see it coming
It caught me unaware
I never saw the danger lurking 'round back there
But it waited for me
‘Til I was all alone
It slithered up behind me
And crept into my bones
Under cover of the darkness
Merciless and bold
I felt a touch of evil chill my very soul
From way beyond the black
A wicked kiss I can’t forget
It lit me up like Christmas day
And rattled through my head
I can still remember the way it was before
It haunts me like sweet music
That I can’t hear anymore
It struck like lightning
It brought me low
Picked me up by my lapels
And told me where to go
It struck like lightning
It knocked me down, down, down
It pushed me from the pinnacle
And watched me hit the ground
It struck like lightning
The sage upon the mountain
The fool upon the hill
They have no words to offer me
I guess they never will
I used to sleep so peacefully
Dreaming 'bout the band
Now I'm wired at 3AM, staring at my hand
Don’t ignore the feeling
Don’t let it pass you by
Don’t take it for granted
It’ll vanish before your eye
It struck like lightning
It told me no
Yesterday, “Look, Ma, no hands”
Today, “Look out below”
It struck like lightning
It knocked me down, down, down
The breeze was sweet upon my cheek
And then I hit the ground
It struck like lightning
Don’t ignore the feeling
Don’t let it pass you by
Don’t take it for granted
It’ll vanish before your eye
I can still remember the way it was before
It haunts me like sweet music
That I can’t play anymore
It struck like lightning
It changed my life
The horse’s hair surrendered
And I caught the falling knife
It struck like lightning
Gone much too fast, fast, fast
Stolen in a moment
Was it all too good to last?
It struck like lightning
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5. |
Mr. Madarakkis
03:57
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You can put me in ice, you can bury me down
You can turn up the heat with a sizzling sound
You can stretch my neck ‘til I’m tall as a tree
But don’t let Mr. Madarakkis put the screws to me
You can find where it hurts, and then give it a twist
You can sell me a smile, and deliver a fist
Here’s my guitar, you can have it for free
But don’t let Mr. Madarakkis put the screws to me
I can be the big man
I can stand the pain
I will take the medicine
Like fire in my veins
But it’s too close to the jugular
It’s too much of my life
And he seems a bit too willing
To put me to the knife
You can stripe my back and pour salt in the wound
You can burn my record if you don’t like the tune
You can slander my name, what good could it be
But don’t let Mr. Madarakkis put the screws to me
I have seen such devilry
Splinter masonry and stone
I can almost smell the powder
As it drills into my bones
If what I’ve lost is gone for good
It’s long gone either way
But I think about old Django
Who found another way
Don’t let Mr. Madarakkis put the screws to me
Don’t let Mr. Madarakkis get his hooks in me
Don’t let Mr. Madarakkis point that knife at me
Don’t let Mr. Madarakkis …
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6. |
Second Opinion
04:02
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I loved you, my darlin’
and trusted you so
We’d build fine things and dance on strings
Oh my, the places we’d go
But now it’s just memory
I stew and I stare
You’ll tremble and try in a poor pantomime
But the feeling just isn’t there
Oh-ho, you had to ramble
You left with the one
That took you so far out of line
Kate said it’s too bad
The fix is severe
It’s only a matter of time
But what once was a forgone conclusion
Now shows cracks of light through the side
You’ve heard it before
And I’ll tell you it’s true
You should always get a second opinion
Let ‘er run once she’s started
And go the next mile
You may have to play with the hand you’ve been dealt
But a new card could be worth your while
What’s good for the gander
Ain’t fit for the goose
Some say that it’s so, while others say no
But it’s better that you get to choose
Oh, you had to ramble
You left with the one
That took you so far off the track
Karen speaks wisdom
My trust is undone
But darling, I still want you back
What once was a forgone conclusion …
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7. |
Lazy Louie
03:28
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Five men standing on southpaw hill
Two won’t work, but the other three will
One’s half bent and the other won’t stand
He don’t wanna play in a rock and roll band
Starin’ him down but he just won’t go
He don’t give a hang that he’s holdin’ up the show
Buy him a Cadillac twenty feet long
He still won’t dance for the Chuck Berry song
What am I to do with Lazy Louie?
Hangin’ ‘round all day with nothing doing
Louie’s like a new man, a useless one at that
I can hope someday I’ll get the old one back
You know he used to be so helpful – he put an end to that!
Panic at the church house, what happened to the steeple?
Opened up the door and they let out all the people
Louie’s in the back row, sleeping in the pew
He ain’t gonna do what the preacher said to do
What am I to do with Lazy Louie?
Hangin’ ‘round all day with nothing doing
Louie’s turned a new page, an empty one at that
I can hope someday he’ll turn the old one back
You know he used to be so helpful – he put an end to that!
Can’t turn the key and my jacket’s unzipped
I want the bag open, but it just won’t rip
I scream and I cuss, and I pout and frown
While one little fella keeps letting me down
What am I to do with Lazy Louie?
Hangin’ ‘round all day with nothing doing
Ready for his close-up, but he doesn’t want to act
I can hope and pray I’ll get the old Lou back
You know he used to be so helpful – he put an end to that!
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8. |
Moan
03:13
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Moan if you think it makes you better
Moan but no matter what you do
Long way off, without a doubt
Just gonna have to wait it out and see it through
Moan if it gets you through the morning
Moan if it carries you to noon
But don’t moan during happy hour
No one wants to see your flower’s a wilted bloom
It’s hard to make the best of it
“At least you got a song from it”
Be happy
What can you do
It’s life and ‘tis the season
No peace in chasing reason
This is happening to you
Moan when the riddler doesn’t need you
Moan when another gig falls through
Bone by bone, rebuild the tower
The wish of your returning power is coming true
It’s hard to make the best of it
“At least you got a song from it”
Be happy
What can you do
It’s life and ‘tis the season
No peace in chasing reason
This is happening to you
Moan ‘cause it’s all coming apart now
Moan but a smile is better glue
Long way off, without a doubt
Just gonna have to wait it out
And see it through
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9. |
Rhyming Dictionary
02:57
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I’ll never be a hip-hop star
My flow's not legendary
But I've got rhymes to fill a book – a rhyming dictionary
My skill with words is testament to literacy and wit
But my vocabulary’s stretched and now the rhymes don't fit
Can’t walk on water in these brimstone shoes
Can’t be filled with laughter when I’m singing the blues
Can’t roller-skate in a buffalo herd
Can’t understand why love’s a dirty word, now
You can mock and laugh at me
And have your fill of jeers
I’ll humbly take your tutelage
Believe me, I'm all ears
If you choose to acquiesce and lend your aid to me
I need a rhyme for cervical radiculopathy
Can’t catch the ball with my hands in my pockets
Can’t shoot the moon if I don’t build the rocket
Can’t find a clue without a magnifying glass
Can’t do a dance if I’m sitting on my lawn chair
My elocution’s eloquent
My prose is always pleasant
My discourse is distinguished and ideas incandescent
I’ll never stoop to sing about your chronic halitosis
I’ll need some different words to rhyme “foraminal stenosis”
Can’t feed the hawk if I want to keep the dove
Can’t catch a bullet in a baseball glove
Can’t clap in time on the one and the three
Can’t get through the door without the master key
My situation’s out of sorts and getting kind of scary
But I’ve got rhymes to overflow a rhyming dictionary
My language rarely lacks, and my lyrics are a hit
But my vocabulary’s stretched and now the rhymes don’t fit
Flammable ketosis
Garanimal in focus
Tyrannical ten locusts
Phenomenal neurosis
Grammatical …
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10. |
Waiting Room
03:19
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Never liked the hospital
Never liked the clinic
Even in my worst malaise
You wouldn’t find me in it
Funny how things turn around
My, how things have changed
Now I’m in the doctor’s queue
Nearly every day
The waiting room is stuck on hold
The corner is my second home
Time ticks by as I grow old
Check my phone, check my pulse
The waiting room is stuck on hold
Monday I will take my chair
I’ll take the same on Tuesday
Wednesday, Thursday find me there
Making plans for Friday
The waiting room is stuck on hold
The corner is my second home
Time ticks by as I grow old
Check my phone, check my pulse
The waiting room is stuck on hold
Nurses are like family
Physicians are my friends
Reading old Time magazines
‘Til they call me in
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11. |
In Your Hands
03:16
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If my heart is still or beating, it’s in your hands, in your hands
If I feel lost and defeated, it’s in your hands, in your hands
If I come to pain or pleasure, it’s in your hands, in your hands
If I find and lose a treasure, it’s in your hands, in your hands
If it’s rain or merely sunshine, it’s in your hands, in your hands
If I should see or go blind, it’s in your hands, in your hands
Is it holy water turned to cheap wine? It’s in your hands, in your hands
Is it ministry or white-collar crime? It’s in your hands, in your hands
Have mercy on me
Have mercy on me, please
Is it love and war, or peace and hate? It’s in your hands, in your hands
Divide and conquer or negotiate, it’s in your hands, in your hands
Is it all for one and none for all? It’s in your hands, in your hands
A trumpet blast or a siren’s call? It’s in your hands, in your hands
Have mercy on me
Have mercy on me, please
Is it Heaven or hell?
Is it down the drain or up the well?
Is it living in grace, dying in flesh?
What the future holds, we can only guess
Is it redemption or damnation? I can’t demand, it’s in your hands
Is it deprivation or sensation? Not my plan, it’s in your hands
Is it victory or defeat? I understand, it’s in your hands
Is it rendered whole or incomplete? Since the world began, it’s in your hands
In your hands, in your hands
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12. |
Slowly But Surely
03:01
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Morning is coming, slowly but surely
Nighttime ticks by in its maddening way
A headful of seconds is a whole lot of seconds
But morning is coming
It happens each day
All is in shadow, as dark as it gets
But there’s no denying the light of the sun
It’s rough in the meantime
The long in-between time
You’ll see much better when morning has come
This lovely old wreck ain't got what it used to
She’s emptied my pockets – she’ll do it again
50-odd years is a whole lot of years
I’d no sooner leave her than my dearest friend
A rickety racket from under the hood
A hole in the floorboard that grows by the mile
A wrench and a rag and she’s humming back at it
Slowly but surely
Arriving in style
Healing is coming, slowly but surely
Creeping along at a fraction each day
An armful of inches is a whole lot of inches
Thank God for three fingers
I’m still in the fray
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13. |
Outroduction
00:14
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And that concludes The Threefinger Opera.
I hope you enjoyed the story.
Now that you've heard the songs,
You can sing along as you listen – again and again.
Until next time,
Goodbye!
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Jeff Elbel + Ping Wheaton, Illinois
Thanks for visiting! We're proud to be your source for roots rock and roll storytelling with wit and heart. Remember our motto: "No band could love you half as much as Ping."
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