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Rhyming Dictionary

from The Threefinger Opera by Jeff Elbel + Ping

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    The Threefinger Opera CD includes all 13 album tracks plus the bonus track "Do It Again." The package includes a 6-panel gatefold booklet with color photos and song illustrations by Chris Taylor.

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    3 inch by 3 inch embroidered patch with heat-seal backing. The Threefinger Opera cover image design. Receive one patch.
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about

“Rhyming Dictionary” careens toward unhinged lunacy reminiscent of Ian Dury and the Blockheads with a dash of “Weird Al” Yankovic. Atop a granite foundation of caveman rock, Mitchell Connell of Love Coma plays soulful Texas blues guitar while Greg Lawless of Adam Again adds off-kilter skronk. Love Coma singer Chris Taylor joins the chorus and offers a mid-song lecture a la Ferris Bueller’s economics teacher Ben Stein.

lyrics

I’ll never be a hip-hop star
My flow's not legendary
But I've got rhymes to fill a book – a rhyming dictionary
My skill with words is testament to literacy and wit
But my vocabulary’s stretched and now the rhymes don't fit

Can’t walk on water in these brimstone shoes
Can’t be filled with laughter when I’m singing the blues
Can’t roller-skate in a buffalo herd
Can’t understand why love’s a dirty word, now

You can mock and laugh at me
And have your fill of jeers
I’ll humbly take your tutelage
Believe me, I'm all ears
If you choose to acquiesce and lend your aid to me
I need a rhyme for cervical radiculopathy

Can’t catch the ball with my hands in my pockets
Can’t shoot the moon if I don’t build the rocket
Can’t find a clue without a magnifying glass
Can’t do a dance if I’m sitting on my lawn chair

My elocution’s eloquent
My prose is always pleasant
My discourse is distinguished and ideas incandescent
I’ll never stoop to sing about your chronic halitosis
I’ll need some different words to rhyme “foraminal stenosis”

Can’t feed the hawk if I want to keep the dove
Can’t catch a bullet in a baseball glove
Can’t clap in time on the one and the three
Can’t get through the door without the master key

My situation’s out of sorts and getting kind of scary
But I’ve got rhymes to overflow a rhyming dictionary
My language rarely lacks, and my lyrics are a hit
But my vocabulary’s stretched and now the rhymes don’t fit

Flammable ketosis
Garanimal in focus
Tyrannical ten locusts
Phenomenal neurosis
Grammatical …

credits

from The Threefinger Opera, released May 5, 2022
Chorus vocal and academic lecture on “Rhyming Dictionary” by Chris Taylor (solo, Love Coma), recorded by Chris at Creative Space, San Antonio, TX. Rock and roll lead guitar by Mitchell Connell, recorded by Mitchell in San Antonio, TX. Psycho lead guitar by Greg Lawless of Adam Again, recorded by Greg in Hillsboro, OR.

John Blum: drums
Mike Choby: electric piano, organ
Jeff Elbel: vocal, guitar, bass
Maron Gaffron: vocal
Tom Sharpe: percussion
Chris Taylor: interior artwork

“Rhyming Dictionary” music by Jeff Elbel and John Blum, with words by Jeff Elbel and additional chorus lyrics by Chris Taylor. Credit goes to Dave Dampier and Maron Gaffron for the best rhymes to “foraminal stenosis.” Copyright © (P) 2021 by Marathon Records (ASCAP). Published by Zimbalon (ASCAP). Unauthorized use is a violation of applicable laws. Request use anytime!

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Jeff Elbel + Ping Wheaton, Illinois

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